Please tell BW a story?

and be entered into random drawing for Community Coffee products!

Dear Folks,

And lurkers,

You must have noticed that I have not been posting as often as I am in the habit of doing.

Rather than going into lots of boring details about things out of my control which have been draining my creative energies, I would like you to RE-ENERGIZE me!

I would like you to put on your creative writing hats and rewrite my recent life for me.  It can be fantasy, fiction, adventure, mystery, intrigue, poetic, romantic, boring, exciting, earth shaking.  The sky is the limit!!!

Before you comment, I’d like you to visit Community Coffee, and then let me  know (at the end of your story comment) which travel tumbler or coffee mug you would like to win and what kind of coffee you would like to receive with that.  Blair is ready to send you your well-deserved gift.

Will you do that for me?

I look forward to getting back to my desk after a wetland tour and reading all your wonderful stories of what BW has been up to lately!  Writers will be automatically entered into a random drawing!

I remain your,

BW

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Comments

Please tell BW a story? — 40 Comments

  1. The BW was in the middle of taking out a tour when all of sudden she looks around and notices their surrounded. Surround by huge mutant frogs.Her guests are scared out of their wits, not sure what they should do. BW, being the fast thinking person that she is, knows that the safest place for them right now would be on dry land, she knew these mutant frogs could not live out of water. She gets her guest to shore just in the nick of time. Just as BW got everyone out of the boat the frogs attacked it, causing it to sink and be unusable. Now what were they to do, they were stranded. But not to fear, Bw, being the resourceful woman that she is, started a fire rubbing 2 sticks together. She then found a log and started making a canoe out of it using the fishing knife she had on her belt. She knew it would take awhile so in order to provide food for her guest she shaped harpoons out of some sticks and gave them to the guest. That way they could catch some fish or mutant frogs for food. Mean while back home all BW’s blog readers are worried. Why hasn’t BW been blogging? Where could she be? Is she OK? Did she get eaten by a gator? Where? Oh Where, can she be? Well It took a looong time to make that canoe but she DID it, and returned all her guest safely back to their worried families. And BW is happily back blogging again making all her readers very glad she’s back

    Bistro mug

    • YES!!!! YES!!!!! I always wanted to make fire with two sticks!!!! I’m a heroine!!!!! Hey, Kathy, you didn’t say what kind of coffee!!!!! And beans or ground? Just in case your name is randomly selected, ya know? Thanks for this first installment!!! It’s great!!! I feel better already! BW

  2. OK, I don’t know what open-ended means in the grand scheme of things so I’m going to get my entry in before my eyes close.

    On her way out of the Landing, BW stopped to adjust the new solar system since no one would be in the house for a few days. The paint job on the new truck wasn’t quite ready, but driving the old pickup felt right on this day. As she pulled in to the marina, she honked and waved as she passed Bayou Fabio and Droopy having an intense conversation about world events while munching on freshly grilled burgers at the picnic tables. She wanted to check in on her new employee at the front desk and pick up a few supplies before heading over to the boat shed.

    She decided to take the Carolina Skiff out to the camp rather than the big boat since a little fishing might be in order during the journey. As she headed out of the slip, she couldn’t have been prouder to see all the restoration work going on around her. What a difference it’s made since Congress reorganized the Corp and funded every single restoration project in the cue and added more to boot. It filled her with glee to see the brilliant green leaves on the new Cypress trees and la grain ah vole growing along the banks of the canal.

    She decided that just a quick stop at the old trout hole was in order since she hated to miss the nightly twins’ French lesson by Dotter. A dozen trout should be a nice addition to the gumbo and jambalaya she knew would be cooking out on the houseboat. Those new prototype reels she was testing out were sure to make quick work of the task.

    As she meandered through the bayou, she spotted her youngest in his pirogue out in the marsh. He held up two beautiful ducks that would smell beyond wonderful grilling on the pit under the old oak. As she rounded the last bend before reaching her anxiously awaiting family, she couldn’t help think about how wonderful her trip to the International Outdoor Writers Conference in Alaska had been where she swept every single category. It was wonderful to go sword fishing with Linda Greenwald. But it was even better taking all those first prize trips to Scotland, Ireland, Germany, and Holland. She wondered if anyone in history would ever break her record for sweeping every single class.

    As she pulled the skiff up to the dock, the overpowering smell of bayou delicacies wafted over her and she was overjoyed to see the twins rushing out to greet her as they shouted “Bien venue a la maison, Winnie!” “Come see children. Grandma Winnie needs help bringing these trout off the boat. Picked up a limit of reds for the grill too,” she replied.
    Before heading on to the houseboat, BW pulled out her phone ready to email her good friend, but decided to ring her the “old fashioned” way instead. “Bonjour. Why don’t you bring the old tooner out to the camp and we can try to net some shrimp for the party tomorrow?”

    “I’d love nothing better Chica, but I’ve got to finish up that PowerPoint presentation for the big celebration in D.C. next week. It’s so satisfying to put together thank you slide shows highlighting all the work that’s going on instead of figuring out effective advocacy presentations. People can’t get enough of the Billiot Wetlands Bill. Barack wants a full report on the progress and directives for anything that’s not going smoothly. Luckily everything is moving along perfectly. I need to be fishing for reds instead of fishing for solutions.”

    “OK my friend,” BW replied “We’ll miss you, but keep up the good work. Sweet dreams Lil’ Grasshopper. Maybe you can swing by after your trip to the Big House for the OSU game.”

    “Will do. Sweet dreams Cher. Save me some Redneck will ya?”

    And as D clicked the end button, she couldn’t help but be grateful for having stuck around to see this.

    Oh, and I don’t really care about the coffee. You can give it to the widows if I win.

      • I love that in this fantastic tale I have a houseboat, know how to speak French, AND am a good cook to boot! Twins? Not so much, but Diane can dream! (And so can Winnie for that matter, but since she knows she’ll be my babysitter of choice, I don’t know if she’d cast her vote for twins either!!)

        • Whoa whoa! Wait just a bayou minute! I thought y’all were at “my houseboat” visiting. I was just coming back from checking on things on land!!! I think I better go read that again and maybe have Diane do a rewrite just in case this comes true! LOL!

          • OK, Dotter has read some things in to this story that were not my vision, but that’s the cool thing about stories…we all bring something different to them and therefore take something different away from them. And I may have (or may not have) mistyped that part about the twins…it doesn’t actually say whose twins they are…hmmmm….

  3. OK, Diane wrote about the future. Now it’s time to think (hum) cancelled sitcom theme for a glimpse of BW’s humble bayou beginnings as “Wetland Tours” owner and guide.

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a yarn,
    A yarn of a fateful “float”,
    That started from Bayou Dularge,
    Aboard a pontoon boat.

    The mate was a teen they called “Termite”,
    The Captain brave and smart,
    Five passengers pushed off that day for a 3 hour tour.
    For a 3 hour tour.

    The weather started getting bad,
    The tide was getting “Low”.
    If not for the knowledge of the fearless crew,
    the tourist would be “bait” ( I KNOW, it doesn’t rhyme … work with me here).
    The tourist would be bait!

    The pontoon boat was tossed that day,
    onto a small sandbar,
    With a young Termite, the Captain too, a Newspaper guy and his wife, a “Northerner”, the photographer and Dianehuhn.
    Stuck on Bayou”s Bend Isle.

    So this is a yarn about a Blessed Tour Guide,
    Who’s stuck there for a long, long time.
    They had to make the best of things,
    Till a big “High Tide”.

    The first mate and the Captain too,
    both did their very best,
    To make the tourist comfortable,
    where the Pontoon rest.

    No phone! No food! No small pirogue!
    Not a single rod and reel,
    To catch and cook a mess of Specks, or something else to fill.

    So join us here each day our friends,
    You’re bound to have a smile,
    From all the faithful writers here,
    Here on this Blog Site!

    When do I get to pick up my Grammy, I mean Community Dark Roast ? I’m running a bit low. I’ve ONLY got 8 lbs. in the freezer.

    • I’M DYING HERE!!! THIS IS SO GREAT!!!! I can’t wait until LilSis drives up to Camp Dularge so she can read this tale!

      Now we’ve got present, future, and past! That’s pretty dog gone good!

      If your name is drawn, I’ll be sure you get dark roast. No mug or tumbler? Christmas is coming, ya know.

  4. Dear Readers,
    These three stories are prime examples of the quality of folks who visit down the bayou. I invite you all to leave your comments here about their stories, especially if you don’t feel like writing your own fantasy story about BW.

    So, don’t be shy. Comment away for a chance to be entered into the coffee mug and coffee drawing to be held in a couple of days.

    BW

  5. Your blog is one of the most original I read! Don’t have any writer’s imagination to add, but sure do enjoy reading. We can’t all be leaders, so I’m content to follow along behind the original thinkers here!

  6. I don’t write much, but I read a lot so I know good stuff when I see it. You folks are just cutting teeth on this blog. I’m thinking there may be a novel or two in ya’ll. Wonderful stories.

    Dang, BW, you are some kinda woman 🙂

  7. Ok. Bistro and New Orlean’s. Ok?

    Ready? Title then text?

    I think this is already a cult classic. Ready?

    Seinfield

    Write a story for Captain Wendy Billot?
    Even if I didn’t want to co-op?
    And where would it stop?
    Edited nicely or just a crop?

    With redfish on half shell
    or teal in a swale
    or gator loosing its tail,
    Couple of reasons to fail.

    What if it started
    with Du being walmart’d.
    Laugh till it smarted
    or eat a la carted.

    With a plot is to err
    like garbage and bear
    like red gnats in the air
    like I really care.

    Well to pad the middle
    a band with a fiddle
    a cook and a griddle
    maybe a dog and a riddle.

    Will there be cash at the end?
    Or is it a tale without much bend?
    Do we give notice or just quickly send?
    Maybe start over or just simply amend?

    Well good night and God Bless…..

    • Awesome, Steve!! You’ve outdone yourself to the maximum extreme that I called you by your given name!!!! And if you disapprove I will delete, of course!!!! Choup told me way back when that you were a poet, and now I know it! Simply amazing work! I’m sure it was nothing to that brilliant mind of yours; but for the little peeps like meeps, I just want to say thanks for bringing it down to where we live!

  8. Not going to touch a romance with a ten foot pole, but will give the mystery a little shot this morning.

    BW was not looking forward to reviewing the video the Yankee girl made about her. She’d been trying her darndest to put it off for days now, but knew she couldn’t make excuses forever. Good thing I got that Kona in the mail yesterday, she thought. That outta help make this dreaded task a little easier.

    “OK, where is that link? Maybe, just maybe, it got sucked in to the Internet ether and I can put this off for another couple of days,” she said to no one in particular, although TiDu gave her a quizzical glance. “No such luck. Here it is. Well, here goes nothing.”

    “Geez, those are some nice pictures and video, but…”

    “Captain!” she bellowed. Nothing. “Captain!”

    “What?” came the voice from the other room.

    “You didn’t move my computer speakers did you?” she asked, knowing it was kind of a silly question since she couldn’t think of a logical reason why the Captain would take those speakers.

    “Mais no, Cher. What logical reason would I have to take your speakers,” he replied.

    She sat and sipped her rich, dark Community Coffee for a little longer and mulled the situation over. She certainly couldn’t give her feedback if she couldn’t hear the audio. That would just be ridiculous wouldn’t it?

    As she strolled in to the kitchen for another cup of joe, she noticed Miah grinding chocolate chips in the Magic Bullet he shares with Termite.

    “Miah, honey. Did you take mommy’s speakers?,” she asked.

    “No ma’am! Not me,” came the reply. “OK. I didn’t think so. Hmmm….that’s good coffee. Do you know where Termite is?,” she asked.

    “I think he’s out hunting in the marsh,” Miah said and continued grinding his chocolate chips in to a fine powdery mix.

    Then something strange caught BW’s ear. Why are those ducks quacking SOOOO loud? That doesn’t seem normal. She decided to go have a look see outside.

    As she reached the bottom step, she caught glimpse of the little jon boat puttering up the bayou and determined that the sounds were coming from the same direction. But it sure was odd that there wasn’t a duck in sight.

    As the boat moved closer to the dock, the realization of what was happening began to hit her like a 50 pound sack of Dark Roast.

    When the boat reached the dock, she yelled across the road. “Son, just what do you think you’re doing?”

    “Ah, Mom. Pretty cool, huh? I rigged up this microphone to your computer speakers. The ducks can hear my call for miles. Look what I brought for dinner.”

    • Lil Sis’s immediate response is “Sounds like something Termite would do!” And of course we are laughing aloud!!

      Thanks for the entertaining mystery, D!!! Only one thing non-believable–is that the Captain would answer me in such a LONG sentence!! LOL!!!!

      Now, who is going to conquer the romance?

      It would just round out this novel and truly challenge someone’s imagination!

  9. I’ll try a little romance. But only because you want it so bad.

    LOVE, LOVE WAS IN THE AIR.

    She could smell it. She had to find where it was coming from. She just HAD to. She quickly ran for the boat and took off. Stopping every once in a while to make sure she was on track. The smell was getting stronger, she was almost there, she knew it. Then finally, as she rounded a corner there he was. Standing on the shoreline. The love was just emanating from him. The most gorgeous hunk of male she had ever known to exist to mankind. THOSE MUSCLES, THAT HAIR. She just had to run her fingers thru that hair.

    Not wanting to seem too anxious, she slowly drove the boat to the shore. Her brow wet from the anticipation of running her hands over those muscles.

    She slowly and nonchalantly walked towards him, introducing herself, trying to make small talk. But every nerve in her body was saying, “CUT OUT THE SMALL TALK LADY AND JUST TOUCH HIM”. She reached out, she ran her hands over those shoulders, looked into those eyes, She could feel all the tremors running thru her blood. She had to have him, right there, right now. The excitement almost too much to bear. Her breath gasping from need. She had to figure a way.

    But HOW? How could she convince him to come with her. She had to try, she had to have him.

    She talked to him, put her arms around his broad shoulders and gently guided him away with her. She knew what she had to do to quiet this need in her. She would ride him. She would ride him till she tired. It might take days or weeks but she had to do it. She knew she couldn’t live without him.

    She knew her blog readers would understand if she was gone for awhile, they were mostly women they would understand the call, the need for a piece of beautiful flesh, and also how often do you come across a free horse. Not too often if you ask me.

  10. I’m glad Kathy took on the “Romance” part. I tried to write something too. It came out sounding like soft porn. To the trash can it went. If you knew Hubby, you’d know I’ve got to go to the library for my romance fix. I will tell something I trashed. Victoria’s Secret Amber Romance was mentioned. Instead of it being an “attractant” it was used to keep the gnats from biting. LOL! What can I say, I look for humor in just about everything.

  11. Ok, here’s the travel/sports perspective of the story.

    Bayou Woman packed up her favorite orange sweatshirt and her large foam finger and headed to the northeast corner of Oklahoma. Normally, she would be planning a fishing trip or a guiding expedition but this weekend, she was going for some good old fashioned small town football! MrsCoach met her at the door with a hot cup of coffee and was telling her to drop her gear and use the facilities because the adventure was beginning. It was Thursday night, we eat dinner with the football team. But first, we had to cook noodles for 45 hungry boys, coaches and support staff. You can’t just show up empty handed to these things. Once we arrive at the school and a few words of encouragement are shared the meal begins with a flurry of boys, elbows and forks. Watch out Bayou Woman, they bite! Once we were full we were off to the next adventure, taking the Boy to judging team practice. You see, in Oklahoma we like to line up pigs, sheep and cattle and rank them in how they’d fare at the market. Whew, sliding into bed sure seems like a relief from all those miles Bayou Woman put on her body today!
    RISE AND SHINE! It’s time for the football team breakfast. Yep, we eat together during football season, it’s called bonding you know! Biscuits, gravy and sleepy teenage boys, what a way to start a beautiful day! After the boys are fed and off to school, Bayou Woman was given a wonderful tour of the Grand Lake O The Cherokees, including a walk through of the dam and a behind the scenes look at the huge generators. A walk along the rocks on the back side of the dam is a must! You just never know what treasures the water has left behind. Hurry, hurry, the pep assembly starts at 2:30 and if we want to get there in time to sing the fight song we gotta drive fast. RAH RAH RAH, cheer on those Eagles! After the pep assembly it’s back to house to feed the cattle and get sweatshirts and blankets gathered up for the game. What’s that? Bayou Woman shook her head when the kids offered to paint her face orange and black and her hair too. Come on, gotta get in the game time spirit. Packing the Jeep up with stadium chairs, blankets, hoodies, rain coats, cow bells, candy and coffee, we were off to the school. Don’t you just love Friday nights in a small town? Everyones there, hey look, theres my cousin, over there, and there, oh and that one too. The Eagles are giving it all they’ve got. MrCoach is up on the press box calling plays, can one of us go get him a drink? Bayou Woman to the rescue! She climbs to the top and gives him his drink and tells him to watch that left tackle, he keeps his hand down when he’s breaking out. Way to spot that, BW! As soon as the game was over (they won, they are great like that) we head for the end zone to gather with the boys and the coaches. The boys are told what they did right, what to work on, focus on the game ahead next week and reflect on the past. BW got to join hands with the boys for the team prayer, what a beautiful moment. The fight song was sang and now just waiting for everyone to get dressed and off for their Friday night celebrations. MrCoach got home about midnight and relived the game play by play as BW and MrsCoach nodded off in the recliners. On Saturday morning BW and MrsCoach start to tackle all the uniforms to be washed and to just sit and enjoy the fall weather and some coffee. MrCoach heads off to watch game film and as soon as he is back he takes BW out to see the local hunting spots. It’s quail season, bow season just started and duck season is around the corner. MrsCoach stays home to fix Indian tacos and Grape Dumplings, traditional family favorits. Oklahoma State University football will be on this evening so time to don the orange again and watch some more football! The tv has been on in the background all day with one football game after another on. GO POKES! Three days of football under her belt and BW is really missing her boat. Bayou Womans few days with MrsCoach is ending way too soon but the bayou calls and she must return home. The Coach family is so sad to see her leave but are planning to head her way soon and be eating the spoils of the bayou life! You do have football there right?

    • Nice story MrsCoach! If you change Oklahoma to Michigan, Grand Lake of the Cherokees to Mackinaw Island, the Eagles to the Comets, and the Pokes to the Wolverines, it’s like being home on a crisp fall weekend.

  12. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!! I seem to have had a wonderful time with your football family!!!! I have to tell you, though. I’m pooped out just reading your story. It is a charming, small town life, and I admire how much you put into it, Mrs. Coach! Thanks for the great football time!!

    BW

  13. It is past time to choose the random winner here! All comments and stories are included in the drawing. I will use Random.Org for this.

    Here goes:

    Random Integer Generator

    Here are your random numbers:

    8

    Timestamp: 2009-10-06 12:16:11 UTC

    If I count down to see who that is (not counting BW’s comments) the winner is, let me see, is this correct . . .

    STEFFI! So, Steffi, you better go ahead and choose your drinking vessel asap so Blair can get your package out to you this week. Email me your mailing address, please.

    Thank everyone for playing. Next, BW will be in the kitchen whipping up some kind of bayou dish for you!

  14. I have had so much fun reading all of these!!

    Now I am looking forward to some more good food!! I did get some “fresh as possible frozen” shrimp this weekend and some smoked sausage. Since it has began to cool off, I have a hankering for some gumbo!!

    I will have to go back thru your recipes BW!

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