Sunday biscuits and coffee grinder mystery solved!

As most of you know, I haven’t been posting much because the lens on my Nikon D-50 broke.  No, I have not called Nikon and I’m not sure why not.   All my photos have to be taken with my zoom lens, which means standing far from the subject and often results in blurry shots.m.  I’m no award-winning photographer, but I am picky about the photos I post on this blog, for you my discriminating readers!

With that said, I could not pass up the chance to share these beauties with you, in spite of poor picture quality.

Biscuits served

But before I share the recipe with you, grab your coffee, grab a biscuit, dollop some fig preserves on top and let’s solve the Coffee Grinder Murder Mystery!

The CaptainThe morning of the crime, I  interrogate The Captain first.

ME:  “Good morning. Did you use my coffee grinder last night?”

THE CAPTAIN:  “Mais, no.  What would I use dat for?  I don’t grind coffee.  I use da coffee in da Fresh-O-Lator.  Why you axing me dat?”

ME:  “Because I came in here this morning and my grinder was all dirty, and wet, and smelling like burnt electrical wires.”

THE CAPT:  “No, I don’t know nuttin’ bout no coffee grinder.  Dis kitchen was clean when I walked outta here last night.”

MiahAbout that time, Miah stumbles into the kitchen, eyes heavy with sleep.  I call over him to the scene of the crime . . .

ME:  “Come see, Miah.  Did you play with this?”

MIAH:  “No, ma’am.  Not me.”

ME:  Not letting it go that easily, and using my tactics of intimidation  “Did you make this mess?”

MIAH:  “No way!”

TermiteSo, I guess we all know who that leaves, right?  The Termite.  The tenacious one.  The one who didn’t get that nickname by random selection!

I decide to do a sneak attack–ask him while he’s still asleep so he can’t come up with a story.  I slip into his room, and wake him with a gentle good morning.

ME:  “Good morning.  You up?”  He opens his eyes and looks at me.

TERMITE:  “No, not really.”  A typical 13-year-old response.

ME:  “I want to ask you a question and don’t think about it–just answer me.  What happened to my coffee grinder.”

TERMITE:   He hesitates, eyes squint, then dart from side to side.  He’s making up a story.  “Uh, what do you mean?”  Smart tactic.  But I’m smarter.

ME:  “Just answer the question.  Did you use my coffee grinder last night?”

TERMITE:  “Mom, please let me just wake up first?  I’ll be in there in a minute.”

ME:  “Okay, but I’ll be in the kitchen waiting for you.  Hurry up!”  I said in the most stern tone I could manage.

As I stood there examining the grinder one more time, Termite slipped up quietly beside me and asked, “Is it broken?  Here, let me plug it in for you . .

“NO!!!!!”  I screamed at him before he could shock both of us.  The smell of burnt electric wires still lingered inside the plastic housing.

“Just answer me.  Did you use this last night?”

TERMITE:  “Yes, ma’am, I did.  But I thought it was still working.”

ME:  “Just tell me what you used it for, please.  The last thing you asked me last night was if you could make some popcorn.  Did you make popcorn or what?”

TERMITE:  “I made my popcorn in the microwave, and I wanted some cheese on it.  So, I ground up some . . .

Cheese NipsCheese Nips in the coffee grinder.  It sort of made a greasy mess, so I wiped it out, but it didn’t get clean, so I poured some water in it, and then I sort of wiped it out, and then I left it on the counter to dry.  But it was working, I promise!”

ME:  (trying not to laugh at the insanity of this whole thing) “And so, did you put cheese on your popcorn?”

TERMITE:  “Yes, ma’am, and it was good!”

ME:  “And you didn’t grind peanuts in it to make peanut butter, because the whole outside was very greasy?”

TERMITE:  “No, ma’am.  Those crackers were kinda greasy, but I tried to clean it Mom.”

ME:  “And what happened when you put the water in it?  Just how did you do that?”

TERMITE:  “Well, I put the water in it and put the top back on.  Then I plugged it in, and I pushed down the button and swirled the water around in there to clean it.  Then I poured the water in the sink and I shook it to get all the water out.  Then I laid it on the counter to dry and went and ate my popcorn.  That’s it!”

So, there you have it folks!  A complete confession by the Coffee Grinder Killer.  I’m not sure, at this point, whose guess comes the closest to the actual crime.  However, Sweet Magnolia was on the same track as I with the ground up peanuts idea.  I’ll go back and read all the comments and see who the winner might be.  This may have to go to “readers’ choice” if I can’t decide.

NOTE:  See winner in comments below

Now, on to the biscuit recipe:

In the day of canned biscuits, microwave biscuits, and drive-through biscuits, does anyone make them at home any more?  I would say YES, and if you don’t, you should.

Never fear!!!!  I’m  here to set you free by telling you that you don’t have to go back to Grandmother’s cookbook and do so from scratch.  Pioneer Biscuit Mix, which is what my mom used the whole time I was growing up, makes it quick and easy to bake gorgeous and delicious biscuits right at home.

Because there are only 4 of us at home now, I cut the recipe in half:

1.5 Cups of biscuit mix

1/2 Cup of milk

Preheat oven to 400° F

400 Degrees FMix dough with a fork until crumbly, then knead with hands gently into a ball, adding more mix if too sticky.  Dough should not stick to hands.

Roll and cut biscuit doughRoll out on parchment/wax paper to about 1/8 inch thick and cut with cutter or rim of juice glass.  If you don’t have a rolling pin, you can use a glass, dusted with flour or baking mix.   (In case this is your first time, you will have to add a little flour or mix while kneading dough into ball and before rolling out.  Also, you will get about 5-6 biscuits out of first roll.  Gather scraps, roll gently into another ball, dust, and roll out and cut.  Repeat until all dough is used.)

biscuits.ovenPlace almost touching on baking stone. Makes about 8 small biscuits.

Bake for

biscuits.timer11 minutes

Baked biscuitsand voila!  Beautiful, delicious home-style biscuits that melt in your mouth.

Leftover doughAnd would somebody please tell me it’s okay to just throw away this last bit of dough that’s always left?  It’s not enough for another biscuit.  And there’s no room on the baking stone if there were enough.  HELP!!!  I hate to waste anything!

So, next time you’re on the baking isle, give an old standard a try.  Your family will be really impressed, and remember, hardly anyone makes home-made biscuits any  more.  You’ll be the best mom, grandmother, aunt, or friend EVER!!

Biscuits and figsOh, and don’t forget the home-made fig preserves!!!!

BW is very happy now.  She borrowed a lens from a generous friend, and now half the tremors have stopped.  Tomorrow, when she goes fishing the rest of the withdrawals should stop!

BW

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Comments

Sunday biscuits and coffee grinder mystery solved! — 41 Comments

  1. You could do what’s done in bakeries with that little piece of dough. Cut it , ( make a rope ) place on the outside edge of your other biscuits and bake. You’ve created more “inside” biscuits. (My favorite.) My mom used Pioneer also. She couldn’t handle the dough though. We had “Drop” biscuits.

  2. Sam’s used to have the BEST biscuit mix. It was Betty Crocker brand in a big yellow box. It was discontinued for some odd reason and replaced with a Gold Medal brand mix. It’s good, but not as good as the Betty Crocker was. Valerie is on a biscuit kick lately. “Big Yummy Biscuits” is what she wants for breakfast daily!

  3. What happened to Bisquick or Jiffy? I love Grands too.

    Bought some blackberry fusion. Read a hot pepper jelly recipe that may need investigating.

    Alright make Termite write up the whole episode from his side before you ball peen his fingers.

  4. Mmmm! Wish I could’ve stopped by for some fresh out the oven. You did a great job, much better than I could!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment the other day. So sweet of you!

  5. Looks yummy! I have some frozen, cooked sausage patties in the freezer. Just need some fresh biscuits and a few minutes in a microwave for the sausage.
    Sausage, jelly/preserves and hot biscuits! Good for any meal.

    Poor Termite. The boy is good if he can be just awakened and still think on his toes.

  6. I love all the theories. They were fun and creative and some of you folks are crazier than I it seems! But after reading them all, it looks like 3 of them name Termite as the culprit. And 2 of these have him grinding something up as a topping. But the one I like the most, and comes closest to how this actually went down is . . . . . Sweet Magnolia!!! Congratulations, Deb. Please jet me an email with your mailing address and your French Press coffee pot will go out on Monday!

    If you haven’t read her theory, I’ll post it here:

    A hungry young man enters a spic-n-span kitchen in search for a bite to eat….shrugging his shoulders mumbles an audible “awww shucks”, everything has been tucked away nice & neat. Knowing the Captain is home, he dares not drag out the pot’s & pan’s…..The young Termite spies a loaf of bread and a jar of fig prererves….awww that sounded pretty good, but…how bout a touch of peanut butter….looking around realizing Peter Pan has flown the coup. But wait…The Captain has left a 1/2 filled can of Mr. Peanuts cocktail peanuts on the counter…if only there was a way to …….ah ha! Mom’s coffee grinder…The clever lad pours in peanuts and turns it on…..”brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh…..” smiling at his brilliance his face freezes when he hears a sudden change in tempo coming from the Krups. Then suddenly a whiff of overheated plastic mixed with coffee o’ peanuts fills his nostrils….his heart races…oh noooo, what to do. The anticipation fills the kitchen, quickly the young lad unplugs the grinder, races around the kitchen realizing he must dispose of this now regrettable venture. He rushes to empty the partially ground peanuts and valiantly tries to wash out the grinder….who knew peanut butter could be so greasy???? Fervently washing and rinsing while looking over his shoulder for signs of being discovered, the lad rinses for the last time, laying the now defunct krups on the counter to dry. No longer hungry, the lad quickly jumps into bed, covers his head along with his sins and finds safety in a young mans dreams of duck hunting, fishing & frog gigging on the bayou……..Yep, it was termite, sorry hon, didn’t mean to rat you out, well, yes I did….I too must get to the bottom of things before they drive me crazy…(& the trip is getting shorter by the day). Let us know the culprit & cause….lol
    Deb

  7. Well, he tried to be inventive and pretty much succeeded. Never would have thought to grind up cheese crackers to put on my popcorn. I usually just grab the bottle of parmesan and sprinkle it good. The cheesy popcorn sounds good but, I would have preferred the ice cream w/ground up chocolate chips.

    Wonder how the next batch of coffee would have tasted if the grinder hadn’t died? LOL!

    When you have those little left over dough pieces, roll them into a stick shape, dredge them in a bit more flour, lay on a piece of paper towel or wax paper and freeze. Then, pop them into a baggie in the freezer and when you are ready for some dumplings, just break the frozen sticks into smaller portions and drop into the stock pot.

  8. OK Termite this one’s for you. Back in the olden days we hauled drinking water in stone jars and glass carboys and such. If they started getting that dead fish smell we put dry pea gravel in and shook them up. Followed by coffee beans then water. So next time… (after your finger nails grow back)
    just grind a few beans in the grinder. It will clean it up big time and no water.

    PS microwave popcorn is toxic. Eat the crackers.

  9. See I told you it was “someone” lol. And that’s just genius, his use of a snack cracker in place of a cheese product. You have to give him some credit for not putting actual cheese in the grinder!

    • At first, when he said he wanted cheese on his popcorn, I thought he had tried to grate cheddar cheese in it. I do think he had seen a Magic Bullet ad that night and it gave him some wild ideas!!!

      • Those Magic Bullets are on sale this week at one of the stores around here. You might need to invest in a set for you and Termite. They are supposed to grind coffee too.^-^

          • He would love it. My mom who is 80, bought her one last fall. She uses it to make smoothies, bread crumbs, chop/dice vegies that she has problems doing now, etc. She loves it. Said it comes in handy for her daily salads and some of the soups and salsas she cans. She got one with the tall glasses and the small ones.

              • Why not?? If you have a Big Lotts, they are a lot cheaper there. I have considered one for my own use but, I am very limited on counter space and if it isn’t easy to get to, I forget about it. Like my small chopper. I forget I have it.

                You can always add a box of cheese nips and pop corn with it. He would have a blast.

  10. Funny you should mention the Magic Bullet. I was going to suggest that very item as a possible replacement. I saw one advertised in yesterday’s sale brochures. I think it was a Target ad. I’d check for you, but we hauled all the paper off to the recycle bin this morning.

  11. Termite needs some good old fashioned Indian commodity cheese, lucky for him I know someone who works at a tribal commodity program (ME). Now, how do I get it there? Any suggestions? Wonder if I could get away with delivering it in person and saying I had to go do a home visit? LOL

      • Wow, I haven’t had the commodity cheese in years!! We used to get it when I was a kid and we would spend our long weekends and vacations in OK. We would be on the reservation visiting family and friends and would always come home with some of the cheese and the powdered eggs. I always loved those.

      • I ate many a “government cheese” sandwich as a kid! (I have always loved cheese!) I think we even have me on video having one, don’t we? Man, the memories this blog brings to the surface! 🙂

  12. Free gov’t cheese??? I know people that have freezers full I think.

    Oh no…. I may be on self imposed exile till I get back.

  13. I don’t know if I’m buying this whole cheese cracker story. I still think it was Butch and Ti-Du trying to sober up after a night on the town. A dog will do anything for his boy and a boy will do anything for his dog. Way to take the rap Termite. Dogs around the world are howling your praises.

  14. wow, thanks BW, I was just as curious as everyone else. Nice to know the cause….& yes, I have a son very close to Termites age….every time I enter my home after a long days work, I start scanning the rooms, sniffing the air, counting the dogs, making sure all doors and windows are still intacts..you know, the normal stuff. You son is very inventive, Im still laughing and amazed.
    For the left over biscuit dough (and pie crust dough) I usually flatten it further, sprinkle it with sugar and bake it as sweet snacks, my grandmother always did this and we all loved the treats.

    • Okay, Deb, please email me your address! Did you read the tutorial on how to use the French Press? Are you a coffee drinker? If not, I’ll substitute something else if you would like!

    • LOL! PJ!! You are right! An A for effort. He could milk that one for a very long time!!! Thanks for coming down the bayou. Please visit often. We’re giving away a Community Coffee produce each week! BW

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