The Assorted Nuts Crack Up the Bayou!

They call themselves The Assorted Nuts, and they hail from Pineville, Louisiana. From the Amazing Almond to the Wonder Woman Walnut, (WWW), and four nuts in between, they were a bowlful of fun and more during their Bayou Woman Adventure (BWA).

Wonder Woman Walnut, the “head nut”, contacted me via this blog months ago wanting to plan a new and different adventure for her and her nutty friends, all of whom share a love of the same sport–golf.  She wanted a fishing trip, and I sold her on a BWA, complete with a ride down the now-acclaimed “haunted road” between Dulac and Cocodrie, made famous by the A & E reality series “Cajun Justice”.  We didn’t see anything scary in the daylight, but we engaged in hilarious story-telling.  We topped things off with a trip to a very special place (which shall remain secret for now), dinner at Schmoopy’s, and their award T-shirts and momento bookmarks (designed and made by reader, Steffi).

The highlight of their BWA was an inland fishing trip for the coveted red drum, famous not only for the fight during the catch but also for their versatility as table fare.  They are delicious left on the skin and grilled to flaky tenderness, filleted, sliced thin, and fried crispy, or cut into chunks for a hardy court bouillon.  Let’s just say they each took enough fish home to cook all three ways!

The day they were due to arrive, it was touch and go as to whether or not I would even be able to take them fishing that next morning.  Why?  Well, I feel a story coming on.

I’ve been working on a little job I recently snagged taking a cameraman and all his gear around to do some filming.  The day the Nuts were to arrive, we were somewhere southeast of here in waters I had never navigated before, when the cameraman hopped in another boat and left me drifting in a small bay while they went off into waters too shallow for BAB (my boat) and me.  When they finally rejoined me and said it was time to head back in, my engine would not start.  After checking and doing everything we could to get her started, we finally gave up, and my friend, Bayou Fabio, had to tow us in.  Yes, once again, I had to take the ride of shame behind his old, broken-down boat, which is obviously none the worse for the wear.

It was a very long haul back, and maybe the ride would not have taken all of an hour and a half if Bayou Fabio had stayed in the middle of every canal and bayou; but for some strange reason, known only to him, he stayed close to the banks, kicking up mud as we went.  Despite the shallows, things were going fine until we entered the main Bayou DuLarge where he ran over something that stopped him dead in the water, and my boat almost ran over the back end of his.

He raised his engine, and his propeller wasn’t even visible, totally wrapped up in a derelict crab trap that had been burrowed below the surface, with no buoy to mark it.  Good thing one of us was equipped with cutting pliers (wonder who?).  He had his garfish helper with him, who hopped over into my boat and cut as many wires as he could, clearing the way for the crescent wrench needed to remove the prop.  Good thing one of us reached down and caught the bushing that fell off the back of the propeller before it fell into the bayou (wonder who?).  With the prop removed, he then pulled the rest of the wiry mess off, and off we went again, like turtles.

On the way in, I telephoned my guy at Southern Outdoors and let him know the situation.  Since he knows how important a BWA is to six excited fisherwomen, he took my boat right away and had it ready before closing time.  Thank goodness it was not the fuel pump but only a cracked fuel filter and a leak in the rail valve–parts easily replaced to the tune of only $100.  As I backed the now-repaired BAB into the driveway of Camp Dularge, The Assorted Nuts were ready and waiting to greet me.

What great gals they are!  Since I was under so much pressure, they cooked dinner and invited me to eat.  Wonder Woman Walnut grilled some tenderloin steak that we could cut with our forks.  We had a beautiful green salad with avocado and cherry tomatoes, with a side of WWW’s three cheese potatoes.   After a great dinner and conversation of equal caliber, we turned in early to get an early start next morning.

Our fishing adventure started where the Trio from Lafayette left off last week.  Since this was a larger group, my friend, Capt. Mark (aka Choupiquer) assisted me by taking two of the ladies in my smaller Carolina Skiff.  We anchored together in the pass, threw out the first cracked blue crabs, and the bite was ON!  After a couple of reds, blackdrum, and sheepshead, the bite shut down, so we drifted a couple of spots in the lake scouting for speckled trout, without luck.  The recent cold front, wind, and rain had the water churned up a little too much for trout.  Besides, it’s still a little early for trout in this lake.  Give it another couple of weeks.

Next, we moved along to some other washouts around the lake, anchoring and changing our tactic from fishing on the bottom with Carolina Rigs to fishing cracked crab under a popping cork.  Now, THAT was the ticket.  Both boats continued catching reds until The Assorted Nuts were all just about toasted from the sun!

All told, they caught twelve reds, three black drum (the 15-pounder went back in), and a nice sheepshead.  Come to think of it, this is almost identical to last week’s fishing report, but the difference is four of these ladies had never fished with anything other than a cane pole!  So, not only did they learn how to cast a spinning reel, they learned how to set the hook on some big saltwater species, reel them in, and land them.

These ladies have played countless hours of golf together, gone on numerous trips planned by WWW, and have shared some hilariously memorable adventures.  Even so, they all claimed that this adventure was the best one yet planned by their fearless, and nutty leader, Wonder Woman Walnut.  And by the way, I heard to be one of the Assorted Nuts is quite a coveted invitation, and I’m proud to say they gave me a name . . .

Capt. CoCo Nut!

Enjoy the photos!

First, the ride of shame . . .

Then, the derelict crab trap . . .

and its removal . . .

Now, meet The Assorted Nuts . . .

And there they are, ladies and gents!  The newest members of the Bayou Woman Adventure Club, and they earned their T-shirts to prove it!

(See one more pic of these nuts on the About page.)

Ready for a BWA?  I hope so!


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  1. Glad the “Nuts” had a productive trip. Just seeing the last photo, one gets the impression that they had a great time. In fact, I’ll bet they have a great time any place they go. Too bad y’all didn’t see “something” on the haunted road. That would have kept them in “remember when” stories for a while. If they’d ride that road with Hubby driving, they would have at least been scared. I’ve been in the passenger seat, in the daytime and he scared the ca-ca out of me!
    BW, thanks for the bookmark plug. I hope they enjoy them.

    1. I intended to email you but I will tell you here. They LOVED the bookmarks, and one of them was really impressed with your handiwork saying that no one tats any more. So, I guess it must be a very old lost art, and I’m glad you are keeping it alive. You’d have thought I gave them a chain of gold when I handed them their bookmarks!!!!

      1. Tatting? I haven’t seen anyone tatting since my great aunt passed. That woman could sit in a rocker on my Granny’s front porch, visiting and talking with whoever was out there and that shuttle would be just a-going. I found it fascinating to watch, esp since she never seemed to look at what she was doing.

        Way to go, Steffi. Keep that art alive. Are you passing it down to anyone?

        1. Actually the bookmarks are a simple crochet pattern I made up using 4 different stitches. I have passed it on to my daughter (although she hasn’t made anything in about 10 years), and 3 of my granddaughters have shown an interest, but they want to learn in 30 minutes or less. Not gonna happe!
          Maybe one day I’ll sell them on Etsy or Ebay like my family has suggested. I must have 300 made with all different kinds of charms on them.

          1. One lady asked me if it was crochet, but I was sure it was tatting. So, I need to make some corrections? I know nothing about this, as you can tell, so are the two totally different? I feel kinda, well, dumb : )

              1. I love crocheting also. It has been awhile though. I still have my 44 year old daughters crocheted shawl I made her when she was 3 or 4. I thought I would save it for her daughter but, she has 5 boys , 2 grandsons and 1 on the way!! Oh well, maybe one of them will want it for a doilly since it lays flat really well.:)

  2. Wonderful story. Glad your boat wasn’t down for the count so to speak. Those ladies look like they enjoy life to the fullest. It is great to have friends like that to share adventures with.

    1. Yep, I think they have a blast wherever they go. I learned a lot from being with them over those couple of days just about being friends in good times and bad. The dynamics of those relationships were really fun to watch.

  3. As Head Nut…..WWW…Wonder Woman Walnut….we loved our adventure & our great host , Capt. CoCoNut. We are already planning our next trip to Bayou DeLarge. PPP (Pick-a-Party Peanut) did NOT leave peacefully. AND……..PPP (Plum Precious Pinenut) tried to steal all CoCo’s rods & reels as souveniers!!!!. I would say those 2 are hooked for life. After we left, on our many stops toward home, ….we were quite the hit in our matching shirts. Thanks so much for our shirts & everything you treated us to.
    Til next time, Super Thanks from all
    The Assorted Nuts

    1. My only regret is that I was too busy removing fish and baiting hooks that I didn’t get any photos of you all holding your beautiful fish with my own camera. So, if someone has the gumption to email me photos of y’all holding fish, then I will add them to this post! This was a BWA I will never forget, and I truly hope y’all do come back again!

  4. Co Co Nut, we have been on many fun excursions with our head leader WWW, but this tops them all. I swallowed hook, line, and sinker. Can’t wait to return for more fishing pleasure with you and our crazy nutty group. Will go tomorrow to buy my fishing gear. Had a blast and you fit right in with our nuts. Pick a Party Peanut

    1. I had a great time, too! Wait, wait, wait! What kind of gear are you buying? I don’t think they make rods with bling on them!!! When you come with me, you don’t need any gear! Maybe buy you some fashionable fishing clothes, LOL!!! So great hanging out with you and the other Nuts! Hope to see y’all before a year has passed!

  5. Very nice. how come you got no beer nuts?

    blu got beer nuts.

    Congrats where needed. I watched a little kid maneuver a batteau (sp?) with a 25 yammie like a pro this week. His Dad said he didn’t like how he did it and said he could do better. Rest is history.

    Getting cold here.

  6. It looks and sounds like a good time was had by all. The Assorted Nuts? I’ll bet they were a hoot! I love folks that can poke fun at themselves like that.

    Wish Dad was still up to traveling. A trip to Camp Dularge would have been right up his alley.