As most of you know, I haven’t been posting much because the lens on my Nikon D-50 broke. No, I have not called Nikon and I’m not sure why not. All my photos have to be taken with my zoom lens, which means standing far from the subject and often results in blurry shots.m. I’m no award-winning photographer, but I am picky about the photos I post on this blog, for you my discriminating readers!
With that said, I could not pass up the chance to share these beauties with you, in spite of poor picture quality.
But before I share the recipe with you, grab your coffee, grab a biscuit, dollop some fig preserves on top and let’s solve the Coffee Grinder Murder Mystery!
The morning of the crime, I interrogate The Captain first.
ME: “Good morning. Did you use my coffee grinder last night?”
THE CAPTAIN: “Mais, no. What would I use dat for? I don’t grind coffee. I use da coffee in da Fresh-O-Lator. Why you axing me dat?”
ME: “Because I came in here this morning and my grinder was all dirty, and wet, and smelling like burnt electrical wires.”
THE CAPT: “No, I don’t know nuttin’ bout no coffee grinder. Dis kitchen was clean when I walked outta here last night.”
About that time, Miah stumbles into the kitchen, eyes heavy with sleep. I call over him to the scene of the crime . . .
ME: “Come see, Miah. Did you play with this?”
MIAH: “No, ma’am. Not me.”
ME: Not letting it go that easily, and using my tactics of intimidation “Did you make this mess?”
MIAH: “No way!”
So, I guess we all know who that leaves, right? The Termite. The tenacious one. The one who didn’t get that nickname by random selection!
I decide to do a sneak attack–ask him while he’s still asleep so he can’t come up with a story. I slip into his room, and wake him with a gentle good morning.
ME: “Good morning. You up?” He opens his eyes and looks at me.
TERMITE: “No, not really.” A typical 13-year-old response.
ME: “I want to ask you a question and don’t think about it–just answer me. What happened to my coffee grinder.”
TERMITE: He hesitates, eyes squint, then dart from side to side. He’s making up a story. “Uh, what do you mean?” Smart tactic. But I’m smarter.
ME: “Just answer the question. Did you use my coffee grinder last night?”
TERMITE: “Mom, please let me just wake up first? I’ll be in there in a minute.”
ME: “Okay, but I’ll be in the kitchen waiting for you. Hurry up!” I said in the most stern tone I could manage.
As I stood there examining the grinder one more time, Termite slipped up quietly beside me and asked, “Is it broken? Here, let me plug it in for you . .
“NO!!!!!” I screamed at him before he could shock both of us. The smell of burnt electric wires still lingered inside the plastic housing.
“Just answer me. Did you use this last night?”
TERMITE: “Yes, ma’am, I did. But I thought it was still working.”
ME: “Just tell me what you used it for, please. The last thing you asked me last night was if you could make some popcorn. Did you make popcorn or what?”
TERMITE: “I made my popcorn in the microwave, and I wanted some cheese on it. So, I ground up some . . .
Cheese Nips in the coffee grinder. It sort of made a greasy mess, so I wiped it out, but it didn’t get clean, so I poured some water in it, and then I sort of wiped it out, and then I left it on the counter to dry. But it was working, I promise!”
ME: (trying not to laugh at the insanity of this whole thing) “And so, did you put cheese on your popcorn?”
TERMITE: “Yes, ma’am, and it was good!”
ME: “And you didn’t grind peanuts in it to make peanut butter, because the whole outside was very greasy?”
TERMITE: “No, ma’am. Those crackers were kinda greasy, but I tried to clean it Mom.”
ME: “And what happened when you put the water in it? Just how did you do that?”
TERMITE: “Well, I put the water in it and put the top back on. Then I plugged it in, and I pushed down the button and swirled the water around in there to clean it. Then I poured the water in the sink and I shook it to get all the water out. Then I laid it on the counter to dry and went and ate my popcorn. That’s it!”
So, there you have it folks! A complete confession by the Coffee Grinder Killer. I’m not sure, at this point, whose guess comes the closest to the actual crime. However, Sweet Magnolia was on the same track as I with the ground up peanuts idea. I’ll go back and read all the comments and see who the winner might be. This may have to go to “readers’ choice” if I can’t decide.
NOTE: See winner in comments below
Now, on to the biscuit recipe:
In the day of canned biscuits, microwave biscuits, and drive-through biscuits, does anyone make them at home any more? I would say YES, and if you don’t, you should.
Never fear!!!! I’m here to set you free by telling you that you don’t have to go back to Grandmother’s cookbook and do so from scratch. Pioneer Biscuit Mix, which is what my mom used the whole time I was growing up, makes it quick and easy to bake gorgeous and delicious biscuits right at home.
Because there are only 4 of us at home now, I cut the recipe in half:
1.5 Cups of biscuit mix
1/2 Cup of milk
Preheat oven to 400° F
Roll out on parchment/wax paper to about 1/8 inch thick and cut with cutter or rim of juice glass. If you don’t have a rolling pin, you can use a glass, dusted with flour or baking mix. (In case this is your first time, you will have to add a little flour or mix while kneading dough into ball and before rolling out. Also, you will get about 5-6 biscuits out of first roll. Gather scraps, roll gently into another ball, dust, and roll out and cut. Repeat until all dough is used.)
Place almost touching on baking stone. Makes about 8 small biscuits.
and voila! Beautiful, delicious home-style biscuits that melt in your mouth.
And would somebody please tell me it’s okay to just throw away this last bit of dough that’s always left? It’s not enough for another biscuit. And there’s no room on the baking stone if there were enough. HELP!!! I hate to waste anything!
So, next time you’re on the baking isle, give an old standard a try. Your family will be really impressed, and remember, hardly anyone makes home-made biscuits any more. You’ll be the best mom, grandmother, aunt, or friend EVER!!
Oh, and don’t forget the home-made fig preserves!!!!
BW is very happy now. She borrowed a lens from a generous friend, and now half the tremors have stopped. Tomorrow, when she goes fishing the rest of the withdrawals should stop!